How can I keep my self-confidence after being rejected by a lot of companies?
This is a question I received on Quora last week, and I thought I would share my answer more broadly.
First of all, let me say this, 9/10 times it’s really not about you in the way you think it is. Realize that at any given time multiple people apply for the same the job and if one person who is slightly more qualified, a better fit with the culture, a better fit for the customers applies – they will be selected. That doesn’t mean, you aren’t talented, skilled, or that the organization doesn’t think that you can do the job. They just need to fill one or very few roles and they happen to have a candidate who is a bit of a better fit. I know at the end of the day – that doesn’t help because you don’t have the job, but when it comes to how you feel about yourself try to understand it in that context and allow that to create a less personal context for yourself.
Also, consider that job interviewing is a skill. If you legitimately think that you are not being selected in situations where you do fit not only the qualifications for the role, but you align with the company culture and customer base – get some help interviewing. Interviewing is definitely a skill and you can master it.
Now let’s focus on self-confidence. It seems to me that in this context, the feeling of a lack of self-confidence could connect to a fear about the future.
Are you afraid that because you have been turned down by these companies that you’ll never get a job?
If you are, I would say – that’s really normal and I understand it. However, let’s take a breath – and I mean that, take an actual breath. That fear is coming from you worrying about the future. Understandable yes – but a good use of your time – no?
You really can’t control the future. You could wake up tomorrow to a call from someone who is just desperate to hire you. You just don’t know what is around the corner.
So bring your focus to today.
What can you do today? Can you look up more places to apply to? Can you find a better way to network with those place? Can you get that interviewing help? Can you just go online, look up interview questions and practice them in the mirror? Can you read something that is relevant to your field? Whatever it is, taking pro-active action and focusing in the present will not only prepare you to be EVEN better in your next interview, it will help you to let go of the worries you have about the future and your self-confidence will naturally increase.
So there it is, I hope this was helpful, try it out and let me know how it goes and if you have any other questions about self-confidence, self-awareness, and taking action on your goals – connect with me!